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Shark bump dating

Based on social learning theory, it seems pretty reasonable to theorize that our nonverbal behavior is in large part a consequence of our lived experiences.

Or think about something less emotionally charged than substance dependence…like parenting style.We are likely to either mimic and replicate the parenting style of our parents, or to intentionally decide that .So the point here is not that those of us with abusive upbringings rush headlong like lemmings over the cliff into an abusive future relationship.b) Or these feelings may be the very common “folie a deux” (madness shared by two) that you are perfectly compatible, which may turn out to be quite off-base and may result in later feelings of disappointment or heartbreak.c) Or, these feelings may be echoes of former trauma that may signal a relationship that will morph into the nightmare of the abusive situation.Again, the shark analogy is helpful here because there are many ways that a “shark” in human skin can bump up against potential victims to see how they will respond to being nosed in this way.In dating relationships, the analogy to bumping as a test might be a person who often flakes out, or suddenly withdraws affection with no explanation.What this suggests is that even if we do not utter a word, our nonverbal behaviors announce to others whether we are likely to be susceptible to predatory overtures.In reviewing peoples’ responses to this line of research, several individuals noted discomfort around the idea that this “blames the victim.” I do not see it this way.That is, unhealed wounds from past trauma in our lives may not only point sharks in our direction, they may also create certain blind spots that lead us to make dangerous choices.No one can claim to know the true reason why this happens.


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